Introspection
Posted 08-06-2017 at 08:40 AM by Vballspieler
I spent the morning reading blogs. I wanted to jot down my thoughts while they were still fresh.
First, growing up in an imperfect family presents a lot of challenges. Accepting imperfection for a perfectionist is hard. I'm harder on myself than I am on anybody else. I tell them "just do your best. It will be more than enough". The same does not hold true for me. I must get it perfect. I don't like pictures of myself because I will critique everything I see and I end up hating most pictures.
Second, I learned that I can't change others. I can influence them, but can only change myself. It's an ongoing process. I can't change my past, but I can learn from it. I know I will mess up, but I know I will try to improve the next time.
Listening to my family talk about all the diseases that have been in the family and how most of my siblings deal with both depression and anxiety really made me want to change my future. I know how much better I feel when I eat macrobiotically. I'm learning about the rest of the yin/yang principles. The higher the high, the lower the low. A concept that scares me. I've already been very low. Barely survived it. If I go lower, will I survive it this time? I've never been a roller-coaster fan. I like nice, even journeys with hills, not mountains.
Third, you can find friends who become your family on the internet. Physical location is nice. Spiritual and emotional bonding is awesome
That's all I have for now. One thing hasn't changed, I'm still a workaholic, but am finding pleasure in other things now and can take a break from work when I need to....or will be able to soon. For now, work calls...
First, growing up in an imperfect family presents a lot of challenges. Accepting imperfection for a perfectionist is hard. I'm harder on myself than I am on anybody else. I tell them "just do your best. It will be more than enough". The same does not hold true for me. I must get it perfect. I don't like pictures of myself because I will critique everything I see and I end up hating most pictures.
Second, I learned that I can't change others. I can influence them, but can only change myself. It's an ongoing process. I can't change my past, but I can learn from it. I know I will mess up, but I know I will try to improve the next time.
Listening to my family talk about all the diseases that have been in the family and how most of my siblings deal with both depression and anxiety really made me want to change my future. I know how much better I feel when I eat macrobiotically. I'm learning about the rest of the yin/yang principles. The higher the high, the lower the low. A concept that scares me. I've already been very low. Barely survived it. If I go lower, will I survive it this time? I've never been a roller-coaster fan. I like nice, even journeys with hills, not mountains.
Third, you can find friends who become your family on the internet. Physical location is nice. Spiritual and emotional bonding is awesome
That's all I have for now. One thing hasn't changed, I'm still a workaholic, but am finding pleasure in other things now and can take a break from work when I need to....or will be able to soon. For now, work calls...
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