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NicoleDutch
08-20-2007, 08:32 AM
I thought it would be handy to open up a new thread where everyone can post their opinions.

I did finish Dirk's book last night. When I closed the book all I could say was: wow! I couldn't sleep after cause my mind was still full with his story.
I really loved it, and I even have to say that this book will be my favourite. I loved kamikaze cowboy too and rode it several times but this book has something different. An emotional story that also brought up memories from my own childhood and the things we all suffer from as children.

I can really imagine that it took Dirk many many years to really deal with this and be free again. It's not something easy to deal with! this was after all a very traumatic experience. Not something 18 year olds should be dealing with!!!

I think Dirk brings us closer to him as a person then ever before. I remember first watching the A-team in the 90ties and fell in love with the facemen. As I grew up and many years later saw the A-team again, I again fell in love with face. But as a grown up now, I discovered his books. First kamikaze cowboy, now this book. I don't see Dirk as Face or Starbuck anymore. He's a real down to earth guy, smart, sensitive and a great writer. I also loved the humour in this book, lol. It really cracked me up a few times.

Thank you Dirk for taking us with on the journey you took many years ago! Thank you.
Besides saying thank you I also yell: write more books! :lol:
You are a damn good writer! Wish I could write like that.

Now all that's left for me is getting an autograph in this book too! :wink:

Never give up on a miracle! thanks

NicoleDutch
08-20-2007, 09:10 AM
This little poem came up after I closed Dirk's book. I never publish any of my poems but I think it is a poem meant for a specific person.

The letting go

As we try to follow the one person
we love the most,
the one person that seems to push
to look with both eyes to see what he sees,
we will have to move closer to
ourselves to see it all happen.
But remember: it will happen.
It is not to be stopped.
As we try to blame the one
person we canít blame
weíll lose the fight until
itís gone into the moment of
never waking up, both eyes closed.
God, you are on your own now.
You need to let go and spread
the wings and thoughts into the open air
This is to be what we call
completely free again.
This is your letting go.

Nicole

dbukfan
08-20-2007, 09:12 AM
Dear All ATWWF's Readers
All I want to say is, so pity in this world we're living today, many children out there and prob. fews amongst us have to suffer/experience/can be avoidable kinda disfunctional family(ies) once in their life time, from being starved of love, lack of showing true affectionate, lack of caring and never to open-up to one-another...instead we tend to choose easy, v wrong, and st***d options, by just ignoring it that it'd go away and pretending to be on the surface/fake united-family, which infact...fallen apart :( ...unfortunately, Dirk's one of them...But Bless Him...this Guy's turned his life and his kids around for the Better :D .
Dirk, Thank You so much for sharing your Life story with us..I'll make sure that I'll do my v Best to give all my unconditional True Love and fully Support to my only Child...and will never let this unnessary issue that easily can be resolved, happens to her..just Pure Love and To put our Child Best Interest first..no matter what!!....which I believe it'll def. bring so much Happiness into everybody. Life is too short indeed to be in misery :?

Take care
dbukfan...x

John Pickard
08-20-2007, 09:30 AM
I read it over the weekend, and all I can say is - Wow. :shock:

I'm looking forward to reading it through again.

I am
Dawg

deebeelicious
08-20-2007, 09:39 AM
I'm still mulling through all my thoughts after reading ATWWF, so I'll just post some early ones first.

My first thoughts are of sadness, deep sadness. I am fortunate to have both my parents still, but my parents both lost their Dads as children. Now a granddad, my Dad still says it was very difficult and not something one gets over easily. My mom never mentions it, too painful.
I can only imagine how painful it is. :cry:

ostarella
08-20-2007, 11:23 AM
When I first read Fishing a couple of years ago, it took me in so many different directions, emotionally. The wounds from my own father's death several years before still hadn't healed, and I had recently lost my mother - so it was very emotional on that level alone. But it was re-affirming for me, as well, because of the relationship Dirk had with his father. My son's dad and I had ended badly, but I refused to allow myself the "self-righteousness" when I talked to my son about him. My relationship with his father had nothing to do with *his* relationship, and I wasn't going to poison that. And, although their relationship did not turn out the way I had hoped it would, at least I can say that I had no part in the divide. And reading this book, I felt...vindicated. I just wish more people would recognize this, and not put their kids in the "either-or" position if the marriage falls apart. Kids know their parents are human, and make mistakes and have faults - but they need that kernel of Hero in the mix as well. I think that's what will stick with me about the book - that connection that parents need to forge with their kids, for their kids. If we're lucky, though it may get stretched thin, it will never break.

I've probably put this badly, but I hope it's somewhat understandable. :roll:

UKJules
08-20-2007, 01:00 PM
Thanks Nicole Dutch for creating this new thread, so we can give our opinions on ATWWF :wink:

This book must of been such an emotional roller coaster for Dirk to recall the events of his fathers passing and the birth of his first son.......Not forgetting that this was a very personal subject for him to let the outside world in on - something so close to his heart -life changing for him in both respects of the word. This is a very moving book, which I know you'll all agree, you cannot put down once you start to read. It is an emotionally poignant book written so beautifully by such an highly intelligant man.

Thank you Dirk.......Bless you :wink: We would love you to write a third book :wink:

Take Care
Jules x

NicoleDutch
08-21-2007, 04:05 AM
Thank you all for your thoughts and opinions :wink:

Zilfstar
08-21-2007, 04:24 AM
Will let you know what I think and feel (if possible!) ones I have to closed it after it's last page.
Already know: This is a great book. What a great writer, what an honest and beautifull soul. Now I really know I will hate the fact that my last dream will never come true: To sit with Dirk one evening besides the fire place in 2 lazy chairs, both with whisky and him with his cigar. Just talking, comparing live events, talking about both of us facing death (our own, our loved ones) in our own ways. How we deal with it. This book gives a little view of his inner live (or a lot, depends on how you look at it). I almost feel like a voyeur. Especially if you read the prologue about him not wanting this book to go its own way and search for a publisher. So it is an emotional disturbing thing for me: I want to read it, but also feel a bit guilty looking into his memories, pain, frustration and so on. Do I read it for the right reason?

Zilfstar

deebeelicious
08-21-2007, 06:19 AM
Will let you know what I think and feel (if possible!) ones I have to closed it after it's last page.
Already know: This is a great book. What a great writer, what an honest and beautifull soul. Now I really know I will hate the fact that my last dream will never come true: To sit with Dirk one evening besides the fire place in 2 lazy chairs, both with whisky and him with his cigar. Just talking, comparing live events, talking about both of us facing death (our own, our loved ones) in our own ways. How we deal with it. This book gives a little view of his inner live (or a lot, depends on how you look at it). I almost feel like a voyeur. Especially if you read the prologue about him not wanting this book to go its own way and search for a publisher. So it is an emotional disturbing thing for me: I want to read it, but also feel a bit guilty looking into his memories, pain, frustration and so on. Do I read it for the right reason?

Zilfstar

Yes I agree, I felt I was being intrusive in parts. It is a brutally honest book - I don't think I could verbalise such deep inner thoughts and emotions, let alone write them in a book and send it to a publisher! No wonder he thought about not re-printing it a few years ago. It must have taken such 'guts' to re-publish it as it must seem a 'lifetime' ago now coz of his divorce. :cry:

Again I say 'Bravo' to Dirk, and thanks for letting us read this. I'm sure it has and will continue to be a source of help to many readers. 8) xx

NicoleDutch
08-21-2007, 10:58 AM
I don't think Dirk wants us to feel sad for him. I think he just wants to let the world know what happened and what he's been through. But I guess feeling sad for him is the last thing he wants.

The book has a story, a message to the world.

Zilfstar
08-22-2007, 05:12 AM
Well I do not feel sad for him. I have been through my own depts of pain and terror so I can relate to his in a way. Never all the way! It is just so honest the way he writes.

No, I do not feel sad for him. He has become the man, father, writer he is because of his life-lessons. Just the way I am the woman, mother, even writer (I write theatrical bible-influenced plays for church and theatre) I am because of MY life lessons. Everybody has experiences that weakens them or makes them strong. Dirk became strong. Strong in/ through his weakeness. His story just effects me. And am I reading it for the right reason? Am I a fan gone blind and just read it to fill a hunger about sensation? The way fans read, consume, beliebe gossip magazines? Or am I reading it to find answers to my own questions? And is that right? Or am I reading it to get to know Dirk better, because it is the only way to get to know him better (because the dream of a fire-place chat will always just be a dream)? And then: why do I want to know him better? Because of his fame, he himself did not even want? Or becuase from teh first time I saw him on TV there was something in his eyes. Something that was behind his mask of palying a role. Something in his eyes that made me wonder what went on inside his soul, inside Dirk Nieuwoehner. Something that made me realise he might be yet another (I have met several already) kindred soul here on earth who understands.

Now I hope you guys do not think of me as crazy or lunatic or way out of this earth, I am a very down to earth person but don't you all have the experience of meating someone and know you could relate to him or her? I was lucky to find several people near me, that I can have actual contact with. So this book is the way to have "contact" with Dirk. Since I feel I could relate to him.

bibbi
08-22-2007, 06:54 PM
I've been reading all the reviews here and all I can say is WOW. I should be getting a copy of ATWWF for myself very soon. If someone has a good quality used copy or an extra one. Please get in touch with me. I'd greatly appreciate that. Can't wait to put my own review of the book here. :D

NicoleDutch
08-29-2007, 11:16 AM
Forgot to mention this...I loved the Chuck Norris comments, lol :lol:
Made me laugh out loud :lol:

bibbi
08-30-2007, 08:31 PM
Hi eveyone!

I should be getting the book in about 3 weeks. I hope. I can't wait to read it.
I enjoy reading all your reviews and hope to add mine to the list very soon.

Take care,
Anne :)

UKJules
08-31-2007, 07:21 AM
Hi eveyone!

I should be getting the book in about 3 weeks. I hope. I can't wait to read it.
I enjoy reading all your reviews and hope to add mine to the list very soon.

Take care,
Anne :)

Hi Anne,

You'll love reading it.................. guaranteed.............enjoy :wink: :D

Take Care

Jules x

bibbi
08-31-2007, 08:01 PM
Hi everyone!

I'm getting the book next week on Friday. :D I am so excited! :D I walked into a new book store that had opened in my area about a few months ago. What luck!
I'm not sure which cover of the book of ATWWF I'll be getting. But, It's well worth the wait.
I'll be adding my reviews to this site very soon! :D

Take care,
Anne :)

NicoleDutch
09-01-2007, 05:00 AM
Great Anne!!!! Happy reading (you will love it)! :lol:

Verity
09-03-2007, 10:25 AM
I received my copy of "Fishing" this morning - so all of you in Britain who ordered from Amazon will also have received theirs, or will do very shortly.

I purchased an electronic copy of this brilliant little book when it was available on e-Reader. I enjoyed it enormously then and I'll enjoy it even more now that I have a hard copy. It's an astonishing, disturbing and very personal account and very warm and extremely funny, too.

I always seem to barge in and demand that Dirk writes more - but he really should. He's an amazing storyteller and so entertaining but he has the power to pack a punch.

Can I have some more, please? Dirk? :D

bibbi
09-04-2007, 12:54 PM
Hi everyone!

******** I received my copy of "Fishing" this morning - so all of you in Britain who ordered from Amazon will also have received theirs, or will do very shortly.

I purchased an electronic copy of this brilliant little book when it was available on e-Reader. I enjoyed it enormously then and I'll enjoy it even more now that I have a hard copy. It's an astonishing, disturbing and very personal account and very warm and extremely funny, too.

I always seem to barge in and demand that Dirk writes more - but he really should. He's an amazing storyteller and so entertaining but he has the power to pack a punch.

Can I have some more, please? Dirk? :D*******

Verity! Very well said!
I am getting my copy on Friday.
I can't wait!
I'm really interested to see what's going to be in his third book!

Take care,
Anne :)

bibbi
09-06-2007, 03:22 PM
My copy of And Then We Went Fishing, came in this afternoon. yippeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! :D :D :D :D :D *I tend to get really excited at times* :oops: :lol: Going to the bookstore first thing in the morning. Guess what I'll be doing most of the weekend! Reading ATWWF! :lol:
I can finally put my own review here. :D

NicoleDutch
09-07-2007, 06:06 AM
Have fun Anne! Let us know!

dbukfan
09-07-2007, 06:27 AM
My copy of And Then We Went Fishing, came in this afternoon. yippeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! :D :D :D :D :D *I tend to get really excited at times* :oops: :lol: Going to the bookstore first thing in the morning. Guess what I'll be doing most of the weekend! Reading ATWWF! :lol:
I can finally put my own review here. :D
Hallo Anne
Frankly, I think I'm gettin' to know Dirk even better not only fr CBB5, but also after readin' ATWWF for 3rd time!!..not for just his sad/tragic life story but also decades of changes in all aspects inc. to be a fatherhood himself!!....I'll try to find time to get back on his 1st book, CFC again....honestly, me too can't wait for his 3rd book :D
Sincere Thank you Dirk again for sharing yr v interesting life story with us all one more...What a Great guy, he is 8) :D ..Hope you find happiness in yr life at last :D :?:
Happy reading :wink:

gmr73
09-07-2007, 01:41 PM
Hi guys, I'm new around here, although I'm on the DBO board a lot and I tend to live on Digital Spy. :D
Anyway, I have my new copy of ATWWF in my sweaty paws and will be starting it tonight, can't wait. :D Have been waiting to read it for so long, I can hardly believe I actually have a copy now. :)

Lily
09-07-2007, 03:15 PM
Hi gmr welcome xx
well I recieved the book too , but I am waiting a while, before i read it tho, can't explain why, maybe that someones taken the time to be soopen, and I am not like that in real life so, a different mindset perhaps.. ( just to say I am a fairly honest person itst hat I am just not easy to fathom out so i have been told *shrugs*)

bibbi
09-07-2007, 08:37 PM
I just got my copy of And Then We Went Fishing. :D I got the one with the photo of Dirk and his Dad on the cover. I'm going to be reading it this weekend! :D
Can't wait to share my own reviews of the book.

starlight
09-10-2007, 12:00 PM
I've loved reading everyones comments. I won't be getting mine for a while (poor student here). It's been put on my Christmas wish list :) though I hope Santa will bring it earlier ;)

bibbi
09-11-2007, 01:36 PM
Just started reading the first couple of chapters. It's a hard book to put down.
I'll be writing my review of the book very soon. :D

NicoleDutch
09-12-2007, 11:28 AM
Just started reading the first couple of chapters. It's a hard book to put down.
I'll be writing my review of the book very soon. :D

I know! Once you start you can't stop! :wink:

bibbi
09-12-2007, 10:24 PM
I was up until 2 a.m. last night reading And Then We Went Fishing. And reading it again tonight. Good thing I'm self employed! :lol:
It definitely is a hard book to put down. I'll be writing a review here in no time! :D

ostarella
09-13-2007, 07:36 AM
It's definitely hard to put down, no matter how many times you read it. When I got mine at a convention, I went back to the motel room and read it straight through - and ended up with a *very* late supper :roll: The next day I went back and Dirk couldn't believe I'd read it already - like, "Duh, Dirk!" :lol: :lol:

bibbi
09-15-2007, 10:52 AM
I'm halfway through the book. I know exactly what you mean by it being hard to put down.
Dirk is an excellent writer and he puts his heart, mind and soul into each chapter that he writes. This book I'll definitely be reading more than once! :D

UKJules
09-16-2007, 12:37 PM
I 'm reading ATWWF for a second time :!: It's taken me a little longer this time.... when I first got it I read it in 4 or 5 hours :wink: It is such a great book :!: :!: :!: I also think you have to read it more than once..... it's the way Dirk writes.....you will never get bored of reading his books, however many times you read them :!: :wink: He is a very talented author :!: :!: :!: I can't wait for the next one :wink:

Jules x

bibbi
09-16-2007, 01:39 PM
I 100% agree!. I'm almost near the end of the book. I've read Confessions more than 5 times.
Each time I re-read it I picked up something I missed from the first times I read it. I'll definitely being doing that with And Then We Went Fishing. I gotta say you need a box of tissues when you read it. It's very emotional. For me anyway.

Feeonagh
09-19-2007, 03:01 PM
Hi all

I haven't been on here for a while.. but thought I'd just let you all know my thoughts.

I received ATWWF a few weeks ago, I then had to go to a meeting which involved a very long train journey.. which meant I was able to read it in a one-er!

I have to say it is probably the best book I have read in a long time. I agree with a lot of which has already been said. Dirk really lets us into his private life and thoughts. But how well is it written? Even such a serious subject.. his wittiness still comes across.

This will definitely be abook which I will read again and again.

Thank you Dirk for sharing your thoughts with us.

Fee xx

bibbi
09-19-2007, 03:38 PM
I've just finished the book and I'm already starting to read it again. I sure had to go through the tissues! I'm going to give my review after the second reading. For me when I read a book, I like reading it more than once. I pick up on things that I missed/overlooked the first time. Anyone else have that experience? It happens to me quite a lot.

Feeonagh
09-20-2007, 02:55 AM
I very rarely read a book more than once. This is because I am a very pedantic reader. I cannot skim, I read every word. (I'm a great proof reader!)

BUT I really want to read ATWWF again, because it felt more like reading a letter from a friend than reading a published book!

Fee x

dbukfan
09-20-2007, 03:05 AM
I very rarely read a book more than once. This is because I am a very pedantic reader. I cannot skim, I read every word. (I'm a great proof reader!)
BUT I really want to read ATWWF again, because it felt more like reading a letter from a friend than reading a published book!
Fee x
Hi Fee
Nice to hear fr you again...Long Time..No Hear :wink: ..Well, me too not a great reader..but for ATWWF's exception!! :shock: ...as I've recently finished readin' for 3rd time :!: 8) ..must be a record, eh :lol: ...now I have to go back for his 1st book, CKC again...doin' a recycle, eh...may be I'll find the missin' bits that I can learn something new in life!! 8)
Take care and Happy Teaching :lol: :D
Hugs
dbukfan...x

Lily
09-20-2007, 06:39 AM
Hi dbuk and all of you, I am waiting for a rainy day and an introspective moment to get into Dirks book ( it keeps winking at me tho) not sure why i am not ready still to read it xx but I will.

bibbi
09-20-2007, 10:37 AM
I love reading all of your reviews and comments on the book. You know it's not very often that I read a book more than once too. It's the really the outstanding books that I read again and again. Like Dirk's books. Wouldn't you agree that his are sure worth more than just one read? *I sure do!* :wink:

UKJules
09-22-2007, 02:39 PM
Hi Anne.

Yes I totally agree with you.......Dirk's books are definitely worth more than one read :!: Like you say, you can miss/overlook things the first time.........Dirk has been through so much in his life :cry: It makes you want to give him a big hug :!:

Genny
09-28-2007, 06:34 PM
Received my copy from Amazon two days ago and read it the same day it arrived. Many thanks to Dirk, for the re release of the book. :) What an amazingly gifted writer Dirk is. His writing I think has everything - the way he writes, the content of what he writes and the effects on the reader. I must admit that the home birth thing freaked me out...at least...one so far from more specialised medical help. When, in the book, Dirk decided to drive to the hospital, I got quite emotional, because he took a decision in place of the control he had perhaps imagined ie a home birth. His realisation that he might be like his father in terms of controlling, was very moving indeed. I'm more of a fan of Dirk's writing than I am of The A team series. The latter was great, entertaining..and Dirk was stunning...I bought the series on DVD...but I think that Dirk really is an exceptionally, talented writer. As for what he went through...and the fact that he expresses some of that so bravely and brilliantly..well, it reaffirms my opinion that he is an absolute gem. The writing....such a voice, of intellect plus, absolute honesty and emotion. When he describes walking in the rain...we're there. It's perfectly, judged. Nothing egocenrtic, or self conscious or attempting to be ' a good writer - he just IS ! There's not a wasted word - yet nothing, is brusque or too matter of fact. Only two books...but what books ! They are major parts of his life, aren't they. Makes me feel ....vey moved, very grateful and as always, with Dirk...uplifted.

bibbi
09-29-2007, 12:38 AM
Genny! :D
You took the words right out of my mouth! I'm reading the book for the third time. Dirk is a FANTASTIC writer and a true gem of a human being. He cares so much about his sons, the way he writes about his Father and life experiences and the genuine respect for people and his fans that he truy has. I can't wait to see what will be in his third book. I can't wait to meet him. :D

starlight
09-29-2007, 04:56 AM
Not that I wasn't excited to get my copy before, but after reading your post Genny, I'm even more excited. Why does Christmas have to be so far away? Hoping to get the last series of The A-Team too from SC :) I'll prob be in the cosy armchair all day, reading the book ;)

Genny
09-29-2007, 05:34 PM
Hi, bibbinut - I hope you are well and it's great that you now have a copy of the book ! :D :D Starlight...I had my copy from Amazon and it cost me five pounds something plus postage , which came to eight pounds something...so not too, expensive. It is a new copy .Have lent Dirk's first book to a friend who thinks he's great.... :D

bibbi
10-07-2007, 01:45 PM
I'm on my fourth read of "And The We Went Fishing" *that's why I'm not posting as much as I normally do here.* :lol: AWESOME, HEART WARMING, PROFOUND....ohhhhh... I could fill the whole site here with what I thought of this book. If you haven't gotten it yet. Get it ASAP! :D

BCgal
10-15-2007, 01:21 PM
Ok I have a confession to make: I am a BAD Dirk fan as I have tried to get into this book 4 times now over the years and just cannot :(
Kamikazee Cowboy I loved and can read over and over. But this one I just can't. Get. Into. It. :oops:
I suck :roll:

LZaza
10-15-2007, 08:24 PM
Well, if you want to feel better about yourself, remember that I haven't read Kamikaze Cowboy or this one. So you only half suck, and I suck completely.

:shock:

No, I'll leave it like that, because trying to fix it could only make it worse. :D

Lisa

BCgal
10-15-2007, 08:29 PM
Ha yes let's not knit-pick ;-)

sandid
12-05-2007, 06:39 AM
Hello Everyone, I am very new to this forum and thanks to this forum I have my very own copies of both Dirks books on their way to me from Amazon now. They should arrive in about two weeks, so I am getting very excited, thanks to all your comments. I will be sure to let you know what I think after I have had a chance to read them, but, I can already tell that they are going to be excellent.
One question though, is Dirk working on a new book or is that just wishful thinking on everyones part?

bibbi
12-05-2007, 12:43 PM
WELCOME! WILLKOMMEN!

As you can see I practically live here *so to speak* :wink: :lol:
You'll really enjoy both books. I've read Confessions and ATWWF more than once.
Looking forward to see what you think about both books.

Take care,
Anne :)

Tracy
12-05-2007, 02:22 PM
Hello Everyone, I am very new to this forum and thanks to this forum I have my very own copies of both Dirks books on their way to me from Amazon now. They should arrive in about two weeks, so I am getting very excited, thanks to all your comments. I will be sure to let you know what I think after I have had a chance to read them, but, I can already tell that they are going to be excellent.
One question though, is Dirk working on a new book or is that just wishful thinking on everyones part?

Sandid,

Welcome. I hope you enjoy the forums :)
Dirk does have plans to write a third book, after his youngest son graduates High School next year and he can concentrate more of his time on his book writing efforts :)

Tracy

asmay
12-09-2007, 07:29 AM
Hi everyone, I'am new on this forum too. I'm afraid I only discovered Dirk's books recently, to be honest: this spring. Of course, I knew Dirk Benedict - the actor (have been a fan ever since I saw the first Battlestar Galactica episode) but I had no idea what an accomplished author he is. Very, very impressive. And very, very brave to open up these deeply personal stories to the world. (Personally, I don't think I would have had the courage to do so.) But luckily for us, his fans, he did. And now that a third book could be in the making; I can hardly wait!! That was great news Tracy!

:D

Lily
12-11-2007, 01:15 PM
I have to say congratulations on this one.
But knowing' what i 've experienced' in my years on this planet, I know I cannot have put those feelings and words into a book and admire Dirk for doing so, it taken me quite a few weeks to get myself in a 'position' to read his written words, and I can empathise a little with whats hes written, so i was a bit nervous.
So thank you for writing this book.

Lily
12-11-2007, 01:15 PM
Obviously the book was so good I wrote the post twice!
so it is deleted. sorry.
Bye!!

sandid
12-15-2007, 02:07 AM
Well I finally received my copies of Dirk's books and have finished reading "And Then We Went Fishing", and I have to say that I loved it. So much in fact that the books arrived yesterday and I finished reading it today (I am into Kamakazi Cowboy now). Dirk has done a fantastic job putting his feelings down in writing and comparing birth and death the way he has. How profound these experiences have been on his life.

To add to the mysteries of life just a little, my copies arrived yesterday as I was leaving home to visit my new grandson who was born yesterday morning, which made me pick up ATWWF first. To see what Dirk thought about birth and ultimately death.

Do you think I am reading to much into this? Or is that the whole point, life is a mystery and we must make our own conclusions?

Finally , I think that Dirk is a very good writer and think that he should do a novel (fiction). I would love to see what he would come up with.

deebeelicious
12-15-2007, 05:35 PM
Hi Sandid :lol:
My take is that what a book means to a person is what it means to them, ie there are no right or wrong answers to that question?

But yes, I agree with your view - hence one of my fav Beatles' songs is 'Magical mystery tour' which I regard with the same sentiment that the time we have NOW is valuable . One of my other sayings ( :roll: :oops: ) is 'this is not the dress rehearsal - this is the real thing' when someone (often myself!) is prevaricating over doing something or not doing it. :oops:

EDIT - see also
http://www.soulonline.org/bigquest/writings/february/hapiness.htm
(warning - dodgy musak! :P )

http://www.naquada.co.uk/2005/11/21/dance-like-no-one-is-watching/
(I've heard this quote attributed to many incl Twain & Rumi, not found a definitive answer to who wrote it though yet - but does that matter? 8) )

ani
12-16-2007, 12:19 AM
Hi Sandid :lol:
'this is not the dress rehearsal - this is the real thing' when someone (often myself!) is prevaricating over doing something or not doing it.

Ah that's a great quote. I should keep that in mind myself!

On "fishing" the part that really tuched me was when he talke about touhcing his dead father. I think probably because I have a cmpolsion to touch my dead relatives, but for an ntierlys eperate reason than Dirk, but it was fascinating to hear of another perosn who did that and their resoning behind it (for me, feeling them cold helps me let go and realize they really are dead, especially when the mortician does such a good job of making them look asleep not dead, which in and of itself is disturbing to me)

On the whole other emtional spectrum, I enjoyed the bits with the midwife, just because I culd see my mom throteling the women for not doing her job. My mom takes childbirthing very seriously (she's currently President of Lamaz Intrenaitonal, that's how seriously she took it! :P)

deebeelicious
12-17-2007, 04:05 AM
Hi Sandid :lol:
'this is not the dress rehearsal - this is the real thing' when someone (often myself!) is prevaricating over doing something or not doing it.

Ah that's a great quote. I should keep that in mind myself!

I realised afterwards that when I said it was 'my' quote, I meant of course that it's one 'I' use, not that I was the originator of the phrase! :oops:

Continuing off-topic - (not like us! :roll: :P )

In my culture the family prepares the body for burial, ie washes and dresses it etc. (Of course there are exceptions for practical reasons, which I don't need to go in to. :cry: ) It can seem 'grisly' nowadays in the west when all this is left to the undertakers/funeral directors. If it's not too big a leap, I kinda think it related to the 'packaging' of meat at supermarkets in tiny squares to make it look less like it came from an animal? In that I mean it's a way of masking the reality? (Sorry if that offends, it's just a train of thought I have, and of course everyone else is entitled to own opinions. :oops: )

I guess each to their own with regard to funeral arrangements as well as life in general. 8) I think for me it might help in the grieving/letting go process to feel the cold dead body of a loved one. :? Fortunately for now I don't know, and hope it will be a long time until I need to find out.:?

Lily
12-17-2007, 06:24 AM
deebee it depends. I was unfortunate to discover my grandmother who had died during the night and was sometthing I didn't want to see again , because at 13 years of age Ivisited my mother after she died in hospital , which she was in a horrendous nightie but they had placed a pink carnation for her to clasp. I kissed her and
I said goodbye to her which is a lasting experience and up to a certain time coloured my whole life.
I also wasn't around for the next 3 berevements that happened.. ( they did not happen at home , well one did but I was at work it was sudden)
I never saw my father after that last visit to the hospital and the grieving process is the same I don't feel cheated not 'seeing' him, I last saw him joking, so to leave it the undertaker, didn't feel wrong either.
I can see where you are coming from though. It also depends on how close you are to the parent too I think,in how you handle things. ( i was closer to the female side in my family)
In my experience everything has run smoothly and with respect tho funerals readings are quicker nowadays, my mums was over an hour my grandmother's was 40 mins..

You probably get the idea why It took so long to read Dirks book for me.
He describes in his own way how death was to him and such a difficult thing to put across simply, for others that (thankfully) haven't experienced it.

ostarella
12-17-2007, 08:10 AM
For years it was customary for the family to take care of the dead here as well. I'm not sure when or why that changed - I would imagine the government stepped in at some point, what with health concerns vis a vis embalming and all that crap. My dad died at home; my mother made me take my son (who was 11) out for a long walk while the undertaker came and did his thing. But my son did go down to see Dad before that, and climbed up on the bed with him and gave him a big hug and kiss on the cheek. He was still "Grandpa" to John, alive or dead. My mom, unfortunately, died in the hospital, but she had a massive stroke so didn't know what was going on anyway. I've already told my family that I want to be cremated; they can have a stone in the family plot for me, but my ashes get spread over My Mountains. :oops: :D

I do have to tell you a story. I was sleeping with my mom one night, because she was having problems with her breathing. I woke up in the middle of the night, and I couldn't hear her. At all. I was sooo tired, from taking care of her at night and working during the days - all I could think was, "I cannot deal with this right now. If she's dead, she'll hold til morning." And I went back to sleep. :oops:

Oh, and she was fine the next morning. And yes, I was terribly mortified. :roll:

deebeelicious
12-17-2007, 10:45 AM
Warning - this post might be a bit graphic. (I'm so v sorry if it causes distress to any reader.)

My friend did her marketing graduate dissertation on funeral parlours/homes. It was quite an eye-opener for her to meet all these funeral directors to discuss their various 'marketing' strategies etc and how they all operated - apparently is is quite a diverse market from small 'one room' family operations to giant multi-million pound businesses. Apparently a lot of the directors were quite cheerful souls - well I suppose they could 'relax' with a non-customer visitor? The tutors were interested and pleased in the dissertation coz it was something different from the 'usual' car/cosmetic sectors they get to read 200 essays on. :roll: (She got a first for it! 8) )

A couple of years ago I was at this public health conference when this guy was talking about infections at funeral homes (potential spreading of diseases from corpses and also some funeral homes afraid of touching bodies if there was eg a flu pandemic, etc). The shocking thing for me was there doesn't seem to be any standard practices (in the UK!) for example, a few places will 'automatically' pump embalming fluid into the body (apparently that is more standard in Germany?) without even checking with the family. This speaker said he even went in to one mortuary where they technician was eating his sandwiches next to a 'client'! :shock: The 'technician' didn't seem to appreciate the potential for disease transmission! :shock: The funeral directors won't be told necessarily what infections the person had. I think most infections are v fragile, but some eg bubonic plague can last for centuries in the ground as spores. (OK, most people don't carry bubonic plague, I can't remember the infections the speaker was concerned about, but there were quite a few serious ones!). We all came out of that a bit gob-smacked at the variation in hygiene practices (eg some had hospital type mortuaries and wore surgical gowns and washed hands up to elbows etc, and others wouldn't even take their jackets off when 'washing' a body! :shock: :cry:

I'm so sorry if I have caused distress to anyone who has lost a loved one. It was not my intention to do so, but I thought it might be useful information for us all to know if one day we need to organise things - better to be aware of this now ? :oops:

Sorry too to be off topic - but didn't Dirk say he had worked at the cemetery as a grave-digger before his fathers death - so may be kinda related? :oops:

ostarella
12-17-2007, 11:09 AM
In Minnesota (don't know about other states) they have very strict regulations re: health and safety. Basically, every body is treated as infectious, just to be safe. They don't *have* to be embalmed, but there are so many specific circumstances listed under which it is required, they might just as well mandate it.

I agree - it isn't pleasant, but at the same time, it's something people really should know about, just like planning their estates and their funerals. If you find out about this stuff ahead of time, and can make some decisions yourself, it can save your family a great deal of stress when that time comes.

deebeelicious
12-17-2007, 11:14 AM
I do have to tell you a story. I was sleeping with my mom one night, because she was having problems with her breathing. I woke up in the middle of the night, and I couldn't hear her. At all. I was sooo tired, from taking care of her at night and working during the days - all I could think was, "I cannot deal with this right now. If she's dead, she'll hold til morning." And I went back to sleep. :oops:

Oh, and she was fine the next morning. And yes, I was terribly mortified. :roll:

I forgot to mention something in my earlier post - just as well seeing the essay I wrote above! :roll: :oops:

My sister was working as a 'nurse' at an old people's home whilst in her last year or so at med school (yes folks, she's a doc! :shock: ), and she was doing the rounds for pulse and blood pressure. Some of these poor old dears have v weak pulses, so there was one time when my sis thought one of them had passed away, so she calls the experienced nurse on duty who comes along and roughly shakes the resident. The resident wakes saying 'what, what' and bit confused coz she was having a nice deep sleep. 'Err nothing, go back to sleep' says my sis deeply embarrassed. Fortunately she didn't make that mistake too often! :wink:

ostarella
12-17-2007, 11:29 AM
I know - my mom scared us so many times, even before she got sick, because she slept so deeply you had to really look close to see if she was breathing. And, oh, how mad she'd get when we'd wake her up like that :roll: Scowl as deep as BA Baracus and say in this very disgusted voice, "Oh for God's sake, go back to bed!" :lol:

pinar
06-02-2009, 08:54 AM
I've read "And Then We Went Fishing"s some chapters for thousand times today. This book is absolutely masterpiece!
And I wonder something. Do you know if his second son was born at home birth, too? I don't think so but I wonder anyway :)