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Go Back   Dirk's Works > Dirk Benedict: The Man, the Myth, the Legend > Main Discussion Area > The International Holidays Thread

The International Holidays Thread Christmas is coming! So is Hanukkah and Kwanzaa too! Holiday celebrations around the world can be enjoyed in this forum from our very international fan club!

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Old 10-31-2016, 06:08 PM   #1
Ludlum'sDaughter14
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Default What I "Celebrate" on Halloween

People joke about choosing a day that's easy to remember for their wedding, like 08/05/85 or 12/13/14, so they'll actually remember to celebrate their anniversary in the future. For me, Halloween serves as a reminder of how four years ago on October 31, while my family was sitting in the living room waiting for kids to ring the doorbell, we turned on Netflix and The A-Team popped up. My siblings and I remembered liking the show years ago when we saw it on TV, so we selected the Season 1 episode "The Beast from the Belly of a Boeing," and the rest is history.

So, on the fourth anniversary of the night that began the journey Iím on today, it seems appropriate to recognize four of Dirkís contributions to the world that have impacted my thinking and draw out the main idea I've learned from each one.

1. The A-Team: It's okay to be yourself.

Murdock definitely helped with this one. His goofball personality is a lot like how I am when I'm relaxed - including the accents, funny t-shirts, and movie quotes. The fact that he just did his thing and didn't let other people's misunderstanding cramp his style encouraged me that it's all right to loosen up in public sometimes. All my life I've been a lot more like Face, thinking I need to reach some (nonexistent) standard of perfection for anyone to think I'm worth their time. But in reality, most people aren't even judging you at the level you think they must be, and if someone rejects you because they don't like your clothes or your jokes or your personality, their stamp of approval's not worth trying for. If you live as the person you are, you'll attract people who appreciate you for who you are.

2. Battlestar Galactica: Nothing happens by chance.

This was sort of implied in the series (especially the Return of Starbuck), but I learned this lesson more from what resulted from my interaction with the show. Because of BSG (and RoS), (1) I started seriously writing (fan fic) and had to learn how to write action scenes to supplement too much dialogue , (2) I learned how to do proper Internet research which would be invaluable for school and everything else, including making informed decisions about my health, and (3) while "researching" BSG I found an interview with Dirk from 1978 that sparked my interest in him as a thinker, which several years later led to my picking up...

3. And Then We Went Fishing: It's not your job to fix what you didn't break.

Names will not be mentioned to protect the innocent, but growing up, I as the oldest child and the bridge over the chasm thought it was my responsibility to help fix chronic familial problems. But as soon as I started to try, it became clear much of the problem lay in the individuals themselves rather than the relationship. After reading ATWWF, I came to grips with the fact that I can't change other people, and I can't improve their relationship or get them to see reality without their cooperation. And thatís not my job. My job is to love each individual, embrace the positives of each person without taking sides, and bring peace where I can.

4. Confessions of a Kamikaze Cowboy: Know what you believe and live it.

When I experienced burnout this year and was searching fruitlessly for a cause and a solution, it was natural to pick up CKC when most "traditional" options had quickly dead-ended. I experienced an uncomfortably high level of cognitive dissonance with my current view of the world, and I spent the next several months trying to reconcile the opposing viewpoints of many different sources, including people I loved and trusted. Through a long process, I came to realize my lifestyle was directed by fear: either fear of missing out on "fun" or fear of locking myself into permanent negative consequences. My default approach was a pendulum swing between legalism and hedonism. If I was going to live well, I had to find the source of my purpose in life and make that the priority from which all other decisions would follow.

Since I believe that the Bible is Godís Word, that was the source I looked to for answers, and in it I found that satisfaction would come from a right relationship with God; as Jesus said, ďI am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirstĒ (John 6:35). Placing that understanding as my foundation, I discovered my philosophy for life and health does not entirely align with either a macrobiotic lifestyle or the SAD lifestyle (pun intended) I grew up with. Some of the things I used to think were true I no longer do, but some of my beliefs have been strengthened in a way they never would have otherwise had they not been challenged.

Throughout his book, Dirk mentioned several times that the spiritual journey we are on is a journey no one else can travel for us. We must make our own mistakes and learn through the experiences we are destined to have. Because of this I will not demand that others adopt my lifestyle when it does not align with their beliefs, and I hope they will show the same understanding. The most we can ask of anyone, even those closest to us, is that they search out their own beliefs and prove them instead of apathetically holding onto the default approach our culture and upbringing have spoon-fed us.



Well, there you have it. Now I have to decide whether I have time to fit in a celebratory episode of the A-Team tonight next to those old friends called "responsibilities."

Happy Halloween everybody!
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Old 11-01-2016, 04:29 AM   #2
LittleMonkeyDog
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Default Re: What I "Celebrate" on Halloween

Happy (special) Halloween to you too!

I have been a huge BSG and A-team fan ever since I was a young girl and I'll always be a huge fan. I discovered both books only several years ago and have read them over and over again.

I guess you can best describe me as the (highly) sensitive type. I have lots (maybe too much) empathy for other people and want to be able to help them the best I can all the time or be there for them. But people don't always let you. Also, I have a big lack of self confidence and I'm a shy person by nature. I know how you feel! I've always wanted to live up to expectations and be the person I can't be for all the wrong reasons. You can't change your personality, can you? And it is okay to be just who you are. It doesn't matter what others think. I've learned that the hard way.

Like you I've suffered from burnout (twice already) due to work related problems. You could say that I've put my trust in the wrong people and they just stabbed me in the back when I had no clue what was going on ... Luckily, I'm not the person to just give up. I wanted to get better again, stronger even. Usually I'm pretty positive about stuff. I had to learn to deal with the 'negative situation' and get over it in a way.

I read the CKC book again at that time. And he's right. The spiritual journey is one we have to take all by ourselve. And I did learn from my mistakes and learned to let go of all the negativity and the anger ... So now I think I'm on the right track and I know I've changed. I'm not trying to be the person I thought I had to be anymore, I'm plain and simple 'me'. And it's kinda fun just being 'me'. I can recommend this journey to everyone and as you said it will be different for each and every individual, but it's so worth to do it to live a positive and happy life in the end

I hope you can (or were able) to fit in that celebratory A-team episode, because you deserve it
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Old 11-01-2016, 02:26 PM   #3
Ludlum'sDaughter14
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Default Re: What I "Celebrate" on Halloween

So good to hear that you've come through the burnout and used it as an opportunity to learn and grow. That is the true purpose of hard times, as stepping stones. And although the experience was painful in the moment, now you can look back and see how it changed you to reach a better stage of yourself. Seeing that change is always encouraging!

Just curious, have you ever taken any personality type tests or done any research on personality theory? What you said about being highly sensitive and empathetic is something I can relate to as well, but I really want to understand where you're coming from instead of making assumptions. My pet theory is the Myers-Briggs Type Index (MBTI), and it includes two different kinds of empathy: receiving others' emotions clearly like a radio signal and experiencing them as if they were your own, or deciphering others' emotions like reading subtext into a story and experiencing them by putting yourself in the other person's shoes. The first kind is called Extroverted Feeling (Fe), and the second is Introverted Feeling (Fi). MBTI types who have either Fe or Fi as a first or second preferred thought process (aka cognitive function) usually exhibit the strong levels of empathy you describe, but I don't know you well enough to guess which one you have or your personality type. If you figure out your personality type, it can make a big difference in understanding why you experience the world the way you do and why some people give you more grief than others.

Anyway, excuse the long tangent, but I'm a personality theory geek, and understanding the way I and the people around me think has salvaged so many relationships that I wish everyone would take the time to study it and make life easier all around. As a highly sensitive person and from the work situations you describe, you seem like a peaceful, conflict-hating person, which makes situations when others are making things difficult for you even more unpleasant. Why can't everyone just show common decency towards each other?
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- Brian Greene
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Old 11-02-2016, 04:40 PM   #4
LittleMonkeyDog
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Default Re: What I "Celebrate" on Halloween

Thanks so much. And I agree. The hard times were merely stepping stones to reach a better stage. I don't mind talking about the experience I went through and I'm not ashamed of having had a burnout (many people do feel ashamed). The whole ordeal has made me a much more 'zen' kind of person so to speak.

Yes, I've done some research on the matter and my doctor did a personality type test and asked we lots of questions concerning the matter. I'm familiar with the Myers-Briggs Type index. We (my physician and I) think I'm more of an Fi/intovert type of person. What about you?

No need to apologize. I'm into this subject myself. And wow ... you did like a perfect description of me. I am a peaceful person and I hate conflict situations (even try to avoid them at all costs because they make me feel so very uncomfortable). I absolutely agree with you.
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Old 11-02-2016, 05:38 PM   #5
Ludlum'sDaughter14
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Default Re: What I "Celebrate" on Halloween

Out of the Myers-Briggs types, I'm guessing you're probably either an INFP or an ISFP. Both have Introverted Feeling as the first function - another characteristic of Fi is deriving your morals from within instead of from society/upbringing/whoever you're with, and the fact that you're on this forum at all supports that.

I'm an INFP and my mom is an ISFP, so I can usually recognize other Introverted Feeling types. Actually, knowing my mom's type helped our relationship a lot because she experiences life in the moment and makes spontaneous decisions, which used to make me nervous as someone who mentally goes through all the options to find the best one.

Also, people with strong Fi or Fe generally are allergic to conflict, so it wasn't too hard to guess that went with your personality.

I keep thinking about writing a post about the MBTI types of some of the characters Dirk has played as well as his type, but I'm not sure if I can do it without getting really technical. I do know for sure what his type and the types of at least three characters are though
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- Brian Greene
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Old 11-03-2016, 05:36 AM   #6
LittleMonkeyDog
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Default Re: What I "Celebrate" on Halloween

Oh wow. Yes, I was said to be an INFP. That's awesome that you knew this !!! I do derive my morals from within and I love being on this forum.

I can understand that. I also go through all the options mentally before I make a decision

My mom doesn't understand certain things either. She never understood my need for daydreaming and my love for writing FF or poetry for that matter. To her it's all a waste of time. I can also react strongly towards noises or lights. And a great singing voice can make me break out into goosebumps all over, run shivers down my spine or bring me to tears. When someone talks about an emotional experience they've went through, it is hard for me not to start crying myself. It can even be a fictional situation in a TV show or movie or something like that. I just can't help it. I can almost feel their pain myself. What happens to me a lot lately is that I can't go to sleep due to the tons of information whirling around in my head.

I was and will always be allergic to conflict. It makes me feel very uncomfortable

Yeah, you should. I'd like that! That sounds very interesting to me. Don't worry about getting too technical. I mean people who are interested already know this or can look stuff up. Right? So yeah, just go for it
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Old 11-03-2016, 02:38 PM   #7
Ludlum'sDaughter14
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Default Re: What I "Celebrate" on Halloween

I think those of us who are highly sensitive both to our physical surroundings and to emotions experience life in a completely different way than a lot of people. They can't understand why some things are harder for us to process or why we're more prone to burnout, because they've never experienced the sheer volume of sensory input themselves. It's ironic that those with the most "stability" tend to have the least empathy, but it makes sense I guess. Wisdom is when you realize someone else's standard for success or strength or responsibility does not have to be your standard. Although it makes life more complicated and sometimes others see me as weaker than they are, I would never want to lose the ability to experience the world with depth and passion. Even if it means some insomnia.

Okay, I'll get to work on that thread sometime soon. This is going to be fun.
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Old 11-03-2016, 02:48 PM   #8
LittleMonkeyDog
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Default Re: What I "Celebrate" on Halloween

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ludlum'sDaughter14 View Post
I think those of us who are highly sensitive both to our physical surroundings and to emotions experience life in a completely different way than a lot of people. They can't understand why some things are harder for us to process or why we're more prone to burnout, because they've never experienced the sheer volume of sensory input themselves. It's ironic that those with the most "stability" tend to have the least empathy, but it makes sense I guess. Wisdom is when you realize someone else's standard for success or strength or responsibility does not have to be your standard. Although it makes life more complicated and sometimes others see me as weaker than they are, I would never want to lose the ability to experience the world with depth and passion. Even if it means some insomnia.

Okay, I'll get to work on that thread sometime soon. This is going to be fun.
Yes we do. And it isn't easy to explain that to some people either as they don't/can't/won't understand. Oh well, I don't mind being a bit unstable but I can't live without my empathy. It's just part of who I really am. So, I guess I'll just have to figure a way to deal with the insomnia somehow

Oh I love it !!! And I can hardly wait for it. It sure will be tons of fun and very interesting too
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