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Do you like soccer (or, as the rest of the world calls it, football)? Dirk does in a big way, and it has become a family affair.

Dirk's son Roland and 2 friends have started Legend Soccer Company,  developing innovative, sustainable soccer gear (and only soccer gear). Learn about Legend Soccer Company at the link above. Dirk not only endorses Legend Soccer, he's involved with it - "and not only because Roland is my son."

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Old 10-01-2008, 09:09 AM   #1
sara
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Default Hi..

Good morning my beloved friends.

It's a long long time since I wrote you last time and I've missed you so much..

The reason of my absence is unfortunately quite sad: I'm spending much time in clinics cause my health is getting worse and worse.
I've been almost completely blocked in bed for 4 months and I'm absolutely fed up with it.
But the worst thing is that I've got no hope to get much better... maybe a bit .. but therapies aren't working and I'm losing step by step the most important things of my life.

I must say that my mind and my heart are both heavy.. I'm always crying and so many days I can't even speak.. and that doesn't depend only on my pain but also on my depression.

I'd like to have my life back.. I can't stand it as it is at the moment.
When I feel better I try to catch the remaining part of it.. and I'm always trying to work.. but then I see that everything's useless.
My plans, my activities, Paddy.. I'm losing everything. Even a walk is impossible for me at the moment.

Moreover it was planned that my parents and I had to move to another house in these week.. you can imagine.. a removal is a complete mess and in my situation is quite impossible to stand..
At least I've just had my internet connection back and today I can finally write you!

So.. this is the situation..
I'm living as in a nightmare, and I really can't wake up.



__________________

"Life has never been easy. Nor is it meant to be. It is a matter of being joyous in the face of sorrow." --- Dirk Benedict

"Life: my favorite occupation." --- Dirk Benedict

Last edited by sara; 10-01-2008 at 11:23 AM..
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Old 10-01-2008, 09:10 AM   #2
sara
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Default Re: Hi..

Anyway,
first of all I must tell
THANK YOU ADRI for your texts, for your thoughts and for all your affection. You're a real friend and I feel your support as you were here with me. You're always my twin sister and I'm really moved by your caring attention. I love you..

And to the other friends I send a big hug..
Adri passed me your greetings and they mean much to me..
Su, Esther, Jules and everybody else... a big kiss!

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"Life has never been easy. Nor is it meant to be. It is a matter of being joyous in the face of sorrow." --- Dirk Benedict

"Life: my favorite occupation." --- Dirk Benedict

Last edited by sara; 10-01-2008 at 09:15 AM..
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Old 10-01-2008, 11:45 AM   #3
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Default Re: Hi..

Sara, I hope everything turns out well for you...sending you hugs and good vibes! You're a wonderful person and I'd love to see you around more but I understand the need to take off for awhile. Anything you need, let me know...
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Old 10-01-2008, 12:12 PM   #4
bibbi
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Default Re: Hi..

Hi Sara!

I really missed you.
Am going to be sending you an e-card.
BIG HUGS
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Old 10-01-2008, 12:39 PM   #5
Petra
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Default Re: Hi..

Dear Sarah,
I am so sorry that you feel so sick. What did the doctors say, why can't they help you? Please think positiv. All will be well, you must believe it.

I will think of you and hope that you are feeling better in the next time.
Be strong.

Gute Besserung fr Dich!!!!!

Greetings

Petra
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Old 10-01-2008, 01:18 PM   #6
Flash
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Default Re: Hi..

Oh Sara, I'm so sorry to hear that your health is so poorly! Big hugs from Germany, my thoughts are with you! I so hope that the doctors will eventually find something to help you handling the pain and getting better. I understand that it is very hard, but please try to keep up hope and don't stop fighting. All the best wishes for you and that you may find the strength to get through this dark time! All the best, my friend!
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Old 10-01-2008, 09:21 PM   #7
Lucia Helena
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Default Re: Hi..

Hello Sara

I'm here a short time and I can tell you is a person much loved by his friends.
I would like to be your friend too.
Already part of my prayers.
I was always attached to things of God, but recently for several reasons almost lost sight of the vision right.
The risk of losing the other was great. My world has fallen.
But I support the family, a good doctor, friends' and once again trusted in God.
Today I am here talking to you with emotion. I went back to work and I am happy. Handle much of the other eye. My vision is now the world's largest. Believe me my sweet friend, there is strength in that we know.
Everything happens for a reason in very special. Remember our dear Dirk? He won a cancer.
You also can win this battle. Do not worry, have faith. Be sure has a lot of life inside of you.
Even if treacherous night and if the cross is heavy, Christ be with you. The world can even make you cry, but God wants you smiling. (Excerpt from a gospel music)
Sorry but I felt an immense desire to talk to you ...
Jesus loves you and me too ...
Many flowers to brighten your day!!
Love from Brasil
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Old 10-02-2008, 06:15 AM   #8
UKJules
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Default Re: Hi..

Sara, my dear friend.......you are very missed here on DBC!!! We are all thinking of you at this difficult time.......you know you have our support.......please stay strong!!!

Big hugs

Jules x
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Old 10-02-2008, 06:30 AM   #9
deebeelicious
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Default Re: Hi..

Best wishes to you Sara.

I feel embarassed to say the things I want to such as 'it is always darkest before the dawn' in case you think them cliche. I know that when I was feeling down, I didn't find comments such as 'cheer up' or 'come on, you can pull yourself out of this', etc very helpful. So I hope I'm not causing offence to you.

Scientific studies have shown that prayer and / or meditation do help in recovery from all illnesses. The mind is truly much stronger than we realise. I don't know what kind of spiritual side you have, but please consider something like this, if it is suitable to you.

Thinking of you and hoping you feel better soon. Big Hug!
DBL
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Old 10-02-2008, 06:32 AM   #10
Sharon
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Default Re: Hi..

Dear Sara, I know that we do not know each other, but I have been reading about you health and your depression. I want you to know that I am saying a prayer for you!
You have touched so many people here and it is obvious that they all love you and wish you only the best.
I too, hope that there will be something they can do to help ease your pain, both physically and emotionally. I know that I have had a tough year, the toughest in a long time; but having faith is what keeps me going. Faith in my family, friends, myself and God. Each day I have to find the joy amongst the troubles we have faced.
It is hard, but it is that which makes us stronger so we can carry on.
Please remember that so many people wish you well and hold on to that each day.
Take care, Sharon
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Old 10-02-2008, 07:54 AM   #11
sara
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Default Re: Hi..

My dear friends..
I'm really moved by your answers, your deep affection and your support.
You can't imagine how it is important to read your sympathy for me in this moment.
This is a special board, different from anyone else.
I've found true friends and this is the most precious medicine in order to heal at least "emotional" diseases.

Nacky,
thanks a lot, you're very kind.. thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Anne,
I'm so glad you did miss me! and you did, too..
thanks a lot for your pm and I'm looking forward to receiving your ecard!

Petra,
well, docrors tried (and they're still trying) different kindsof therapy but I don't seem to react in the good way.. so the effects of my sickness are becoming wider and I'm stuck.
The worst thing is to think you will not have your normal life back. that's terrible.
Vielen Dank, meine Freundin.... du bist wirkick sehr s und nett!

Flash (Karin, isn't it?)
Thank you too for your support.
As you say sometimes is hard to go on fighting when you see that you have nomore weapons to keep in your hands what is more important for you.
I hope I'll manage it, thank you for helping me with hope..

Lucia Helena,
I's a very good surprise to find a new friend here on DBC. I've spent much time on this board and I've written much about me, cause, as I said before, this forum is really special. Here you can find true persons, true friends, true affection, true support..
Thank you so much for expressing your opinion about me and I'd like you to feel very welcome every time you want to.
I live in Italy and my country, exactly as yours, is a very Catholic nation. Some years ago religion was important to me.. and it helped me in some difficult moments. But then I started thinking different, maybe because of the strict and sometimes hypocritical attitude of Church (Vatican) towards my country. So I started looking for new ways.. and I found my position.
But now, after so much struggling and suffering, I've lost my faith and I feel I can't prey as I did before. I just don't manage it even when I'd like to. I'm blocked..
maybe things will change for me.. I do hope so.. and I'll start to "chat" with our Jesus again!
Thank you for sharing your experience with me..

Jules!
Thank you, I missed you too and I hoped you hadn't forgotten me..
A kiss to your daughters..

Deebee,
believe me, any supportive attempt is always welcome and could never be considered offending!
Thank you for your words and for your support.
I also trust in mind power.. It helped me till now.. I'm always afraid I've got nomore... I'll have to find it again..!

Sharon,
thank you for following my situation on the board..
You're right.. we should believe in ourselves, in love, in the people and (if you can) even in God. But sometimes it can happen that you feel everything is useless and in that moment you break the bridge between tour heart and the power of life..
If I 'm able, I'll try to build it again..
thank you..


Much Much Love
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"Life has never been easy. Nor is it meant to be. It is a matter of being joyous in the face of sorrow." --- Dirk Benedict

"Life: my favorite occupation." --- Dirk Benedict
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Old 10-02-2008, 08:16 AM   #12
dbukfan
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Default Re: Hi..

Ciao Sara

Soz about yr poor health...& not gettin' in touch sooner...been abs. nitemare in Herts...in search of findin' suitable new school for my littly..just got all resolved today..AT LAST!!...**sigh**..which means I can now bring my life back to normal after 2-3 wks of traumatic/anxiety/worries/sleepless nights in Herts.

May God take care of you, Sara...I really do hope you will get well VERY soon...you've been suffered ith this illness long enough, my friend..and deserve much better life than this..I truly mean it.


Ciao Bella
GET WELL SOON
HUGS

Su...x
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........................Dirk Benedict,..1.11.2008, ..Coventry, UK .....................
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Old 10-02-2008, 09:53 AM   #13
sara
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Default Re: Hi..

Su!!
It's wonderful to hear from you again..
Glad you've found a solution for your littly.. give her a big kiss from me.
I hope God will listen to you..
a very very big hug
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"Life has never been easy. Nor is it meant to be. It is a matter of being joyous in the face of sorrow." --- Dirk Benedict

"Life: my favorite occupation." --- Dirk Benedict
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Old 10-02-2008, 09:56 AM   #14
bibbi
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Default Re: Hi..

Ciao Sara!

Great to see you online.
How are you feeling?
Wish I could give you a big hug in person.

HUGS,
Anne
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Old 10-02-2008, 10:18 AM   #15
sara
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Default Re: Hi..

Quote:
Originally Posted by bibbinut View Post
Ciao Sara!

Great to see you online.
How are you feeling?
Wish I could give you a big hug in person.

HUGS,
Anne
Ciao Anne!
Today I'm at home.. no therapies on Thursday for the moment.
I go to have my therapy 4 times a week, but in a few week I'll have to leave it if they don't give me a result, as the other ones.
I also wish to meet you in person!
A big hug
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"Life has never been easy. Nor is it meant to be. It is a matter of being joyous in the face of sorrow." --- Dirk Benedict

"Life: my favorite occupation." --- Dirk Benedict
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Old 10-02-2008, 11:55 AM   #16
Nacky
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Default Re: Hi..

Sara, music can be very healing...also laughing is a great healer. Also, whatever higher power there may be...remember that it is infinite. I don't think 'losing a faith' is going to change the love the greater in the universe has for you and that it is an understanding of what's in your heart, and what's on your mind. The 'spirit of forgiveness and understanding' is a force. Lacking in the world, true...but I think it's there for you. It always shows up when we need it the most in subtle ways.

God is in the rain ~ Valerie from V
__________________

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In Space, you're in a Ragtag Fugitive Fleet.
In Soviet Russia, Fugitive Fleet ragtags YOU!!


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TruthOrg
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If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; But if you really make them think, they'll hate you. - Don Marquis
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Old 10-02-2008, 01:08 PM   #17
UKJules
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Default Re: Hi..

Sara, my dear........I wouldn't forget you.......!!! you are a very sweet, sincere person and have been missed by all here on DBC I do hope all the support you've been getting at home with family and friends and also your friends (us) here will give you strength and determination to fight your illness......You must stay strong!!! We all care..... I have sent you a pm.....

Take care......keep focused and try and take things day by day

Big hugs

Jules xx
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Last edited by UKJules; 10-02-2008 at 01:22 PM.. Reason: adding more........
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Old 10-02-2008, 02:34 PM   #18
sara
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Default Re: Hi..

Thank you Jules, I've also found an old message you wrote me when I was in hospital..
So kind of you!
I've just answered both of them!
Thank you!!


Nacky, what you say is extremely interesting and also very important.
When you feel you don't have strengh enough to lead your life anymore, it's very positive to think that the 'understanding' and the 'love' you speak about is always there.. for you and even in spite of you.
Your words have made me feel a new perspective.. thanks a lot.
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"Life has never been easy. Nor is it meant to be. It is a matter of being joyous in the face of sorrow." --- Dirk Benedict

"Life: my favorite occupation." --- Dirk Benedict
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Old 10-02-2008, 04:32 PM   #19
Christy
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Default Re: Hi..

You're in my thoughts and prayers, Sara ! As the rest have said...don't give up and try not to get down ( I know it's sometimes easier said than done....). But remeber...He is always with us...through good times and the rough / bad times. Keep your faith. PLUS....you have ALL of us "pulling" for you Sweets !

Love & Hugs,
Christy

Take Care All...
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Old 10-03-2008, 06:16 AM   #20
Arciris
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Default Re: Hi..

Sara, my sweet girl from Italy. I've just read your post. I'd like to say such things..such..You know english it's not my effort..I can't express how I'd like. While I was reading your post a tear was downing for my cheek and this is because you it's very important in my real life.You know why...Not only for all the time spend here in the DBC if not too because you've open always your heart here, and this is the most wonderful you've done. Your friendship with all the people here, your affection...and a long etc..You're special and I read your liners and I can't support to see as somebody such special like you, suffers. You concern much to me, you're one of the people most affectionate than I've ever known and that I can to count with a only hand.
I'ts a hard way in this moments for you, and for me and for many people that is suffering a illness of which we don't know its future, but a thing many positive I see in your text is when you say "maybe things will change for me". Please, you don't let never to think this!! Never! I'ts true in this moments all is dark, but, like the other friends here say, perhaps many things can to go to change this bad way. There is many examples in the world. You know.
Please, to be positive how until now. You're a very strong person and with the most strong heart I've ever seen. Of course. We need to you, how before, as always, and I hope the you're feeling better because if there is a person deserve it are you!!! The bad people don't matter to me. It matters to me the good people like you, with an authentic gold heart. Thus you are. No doubt.
How I understand to you about religion. We've a parallels lifes in this too. The same happened to me, church, youth in a parish..etc..And then..Dissapointment...many things..all this down. I believe, yes, but not in the real Church. I've a own church in my heart (family, friends..) and it makes me more happy that the other Church. But I respect it, evidently. You know, my country is too much Catholic nation but we know, the force must be inside ours. I want my force now to be for you.
Sara, forza!! Io ammiro a voi per questo grande cuore! Tu sa, io sono qui per tutti che vogliate. Lascilo sapere, per favore. Un grande abbraccio per te i my best wishes!!
I'm here,you know.
Ti voglio tanto bene!!
A big kiss!
And a big thanks to Adri (it's true Sara say to you) for all messages from you and for your friendship to her. You're a gem, too.
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Old 10-03-2008, 06:48 AM   #21
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Default Re: Hi..

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nacky View Post
Sara, music can be very healing...also laughing is a great healer. Also, whatever higher power there may be...remember that it is infinite. I don't think 'losing a faith' is going to change the love the greater in the universe has for you and that it is an understanding of what's in your heart, and what's on your mind. The 'spirit of forgiveness and understanding' is a force. Lacking in the world, true...but I think it's there for you. It always shows up when we need it the most in subtle ways.

God is in the rain ~ Valerie from V
These are very touching words! And I believe in them too.
Also I do believe you must find a way to visit Paddy, the love of an animal can be healing aswell!
I don't know how the weather is in Italy but find a way to feel the caring from Paddy, because he does. You helped him now it's the time for Paddy to help you.
I can help you with words and caring, we all can! But Paddy will give you the pure form of love by his touch.

I am most gratefull you are back. As you know I wish you all the strength of improving by step by step. Small good steps will mean the world to you.
Crying is no shame as long you have got something to laugh aswell, talk as much as you need.
I had a burn out, I know what it feels to be stuffed by medication, the horses were my healing!

I love you Sara as you are my twin sister! We share so many things! Now it is time to get faith back in yourself!
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Old 10-03-2008, 06:50 AM   #22
Dirk B. Fan from Holland
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Default Re: Hi..

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arciris View Post
Sara, my sweet girl from Italy. I've just read your post. I'd like to say such things..such..You know english it's not my effort..I can't express how I'd like. While I was reading your post a tear was downing for my cheek and this is because you it's very important in my real life.You know why...Not only for all the time spend here in the DBC if not too because you've open always your heart here, and this is the most wonderful you've done. Your friendship with all the people here, your affection...and a long etc..You're special and I read your liners and I can't support to see as somebody such special like you, suffers. You concern much to me, you're one of the people most affectionate than I've ever known and that I can to count with a only hand.
I'ts a hard way in this moments for you, and for me and for many people that is suffering a illness of which we don't know its future, but a thing many positive I see in your text is when you say "maybe things will change for me". Please, you don't let never to think this!! Never! I'ts true in this moments all is dark, but, like the other friends here say, perhaps many things can to go to change this bad way. There is many examples in the world. You know.
Please, to be positive how until now. You're a very strong person and with the most strong heart I've ever seen. Of course. We need to you, how before, as always, and I hope the you're feeling better because if there is a person deserve it are you!!! The bad people don't matter to me. It matters to me the good people like you, with an authentic gold heart. Thus you are. No doubt.
How I understand to you about religion. We've a parallels lifes in this too. The same happened to me, church, youth in a parish..etc..And then..Dissapointment...many things..all this down. I believe, yes, but not in the real Church. I've a own church in my heart (family, friends..) and it makes me more happy that the other Church. But I respect it, evidently. You know, my country is too much Catholic nation but we know, the force must be inside ours. I want my force now to be for you.
Sara, forza!! Io ammiro a voi per questo grande cuore! Tu sa, io sono qui per tutti che vogliate. Lascilo sapere, per favore. Un grande abbraccio per te i my best wishes!!
I'm here,you know.
Ti voglio tanto bene!!
A big kiss!
And a big thanks to Adri (it's true Sara say to you) for all messages from you and for your friendship to her. You're a gem, too.
Now I am crying for the happiness that I found here true friends, for not knowing in person but knowing by heart and love!
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Old 10-03-2008, 07:18 AM   #23
Sharon
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Default Re: Hi..

Good Morning or Afternoon to everyone!
I have to say that I am very proud to be a member on this site.
The thoughtfulness, understanding, and love and joy that is shared toward everyone and between everyone in this site is incredible...are we the United Nations of DBC?, lol.
We share, we laugh, we cry, we pray for each other and it really brings people together.
I commend everyone for all their efforts..no matter how little or big, we are proving on this site that each person CAN make a difference!
I wish joy and peace to all and I really hope that everyone has a great day and a fine weekend.
Hugs to all,
Sharon
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Old 10-03-2008, 09:48 AM   #24
sara
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Arciris View Post
Sara, my sweet girl from Italy. I've just read your post. I'd like to say such things..such..You know english it's not my effort..I can't express how I'd like. While I was reading your post a tear was downing for my cheek and this is because you it's very important in my real life.You know why...Not only for all the time spend here in the DBC if not too because you've open always your heart here, and this is the most wonderful you've done. Your friendship with all the people here, your affection...and a long etc..You're special and I read your liners and I can't support to see as somebody such special like you, suffers. You concern much to me, you're one of the people most affectionate than I've ever known and that I can to count with a only hand.
I'ts a hard way in this moments for you, and for me and for many people that is suffering a illness of which we don't know its future, but a thing many positive I see in your text is when you say "maybe things will change for me". Please, you don't let never to think this!! Never! I'ts true in this moments all is dark, but, like the other friends here say, perhaps many things can to go to change this bad way. There is many examples in the world. You know.
Please, to be positive how until now. You're a very strong person and with the most strong heart I've ever seen. Of course. We need to you, how before, as always, and I hope the you're feeling better because if there is a person deserve it are you!!! The bad people don't matter to me. It matters to me the good people like you, with an authentic gold heart. Thus you are. No doubt.
How I understand to you about religion. We've a parallels lifes in this too. The same happened to me, church, youth in a parish..etc..And then..Dissapointment...many things..all this down. I believe, yes, but not in the real Church. I've a own church in my heart (family, friends..) and it makes me more happy that the other Church. But I respect it, evidently. You know, my country is too much Catholic nation but we know, the force must be inside ours. I want my force now to be for you.
Sara, forza!! Io ammiro a voi per questo grande cuore! Tu sa, io sono qui per tutti che vogliate. Lascilo sapere, per favore. Un grande abbraccio per te i my best wishes!!
I'm here,you know.
Ti voglio tanto bene!!
A big kiss!
And a big thanks to Adri (it's true Sara say to you) for all messages from you and for your friendship to her. You're a gem, too.
Oh, Esther...
you couldn't express yourself better than you did.
I'm really, deeply moved by your words, the truth of your feelings, the sweetness of your heart.
I've always known you are a sensitive a special persons: we've widely spoken about our personal difficulties and I've found in you an affectionate companion in all my troubles.
Reading your care for me and your opinion about me has given me a strong feeling, a deep emotion, a moving strength. I feel lucky to have found people like you, who really know the meaning of the word friendship.
Too often I've felt disappointed by the careless friends that live the everyday life next to me and prefer to let me sink all alone, cause it's too much trouble to spend a few minutes for me. That's been one of the most depressive things of my situation. But here on DBC it's completely the opposite.
I can understand that I've finally opened my heart to the right persons and the value of your support is incredible. It's a real new beginning for me.
Esther, don't worry about your English.. doesn't matter the language: when feelings are true and deep like yours, they arrive through words directly to the heart.
Now it's me that cannot find any words to let you know how grateful I am.
I've got the same opinion as you about Church.. that's a difficult topic..
But I think that religion is also in each of your message: in the true words of true friends. This is hope, love and strength.
Thank you Esther, I really mean it.
Mille volte grazie
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"Life has never been easy. Nor is it meant to be. It is a matter of being joyous in the face of sorrow." --- Dirk Benedict

"Life: my favorite occupation." --- Dirk Benedict
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Old 10-03-2008, 10:36 AM   #25
sara
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Italy
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Default Re: Hi..

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dirk B. Fan from Holland View Post
These are very touching words! And I believe in them too.
Also I do believe you must find a way to visit Paddy, the love of an animal can be healing aswell!
I don't know how the weather is in Italy but find a way to feel the caring from Paddy, because he does. You helped him now it's the time for Paddy to help you.
I can help you with words and caring, we all can! But Paddy will give you the pure form of love by his touch.

I am most gratefull you are back. As you know I wish you all the strength of improving by step by step. Small good steps will mean the world to you.
Crying is no shame as long you have got something to laugh aswell, talk as much as you need.
I had a burn out, I know what it feels to be stuffed by medication, the horses were my healing!

I love you Sara as you are my twin sister! We share so many things! Now it is time to get faith back in yourself!

You're right Adri,
I agree with you about Nacky's words. They're very meaningful to me.

I wish I could go and visit Paddy, but he's far from me and I can't stand too long: because of the new back probs I must lie and I can't sit for long periods (so the car is impossible) and just a few steps are a problem.
I'm wondering if he could ever understand or if he would just feel he's abandoned. Of course I've all fixed: he's looked after by another girl.. I'm so jalouse.. I know it's stupid.. but I am. I'd like to be with him and go on with our special relationship we've built step by step.
Doctors say I should forget him but I can't sell him.. I could never do it!!!! Never!!!!
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"Life has never been easy. Nor is it meant to be. It is a matter of being joyous in the face of sorrow." --- Dirk Benedict

"Life: my favorite occupation." --- Dirk Benedict
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