Motherhood: Tears and Cheers.
My son grew perfectly and his development was okay. Only his right arm always flapped a bit. And he was not one of the first to actually walk. To make a long story a bit short, we were sent to a revalidation centre where they indicated Cerebral Palsy. We were sent to a specialist, a childs neurologist. He wanted to do a MRI. Because of his age at the time, he was 5, we decided together to get it done under full anesthesia so he would lay perfectly motionless. That was 13 months ago. By becoming 6 we decided to let him practice “laying without any movement” and just a few weeks ago he made the miraculous time of 22 minutes without any itch, nodding or whatever. We called the hospital and made an appointment for a MRI without anesthetics.
Last week we went to the hospital. He carried the classes bear with him for company on this exciting trip. He lay in the MRI for over half an hour without any motion! I felt very proud and concerned for the result. Seeing my son, my first born, laying there in this enormous magnetic field. His eyes barely visible because of the restraining bands keeping his head in place. His eyes concentrated on mine using a little mirror that stood on top of the rack covering his head. His eyes , the only contact possible because of the sounds of the machine that where as loud as a passing train. The train that maybe caused all of this to happen. It went straight into my heart, into my soul.
Today me and my husband went to see the doctor. A very nice sympathetic young man. He was very proud of my son, being able to lay there perfectly for the MRI to succeed. He was really proud. And he had really seen what the problem is of our son. Cerebral Palsy. No doubt about it. I have seen it with my own eyes. Every brain has 2 sides: 2 hemispheres. His right hemisphere is Okay. It has normal brain matter and a normal “gap” where there is brain fluid. His left side however has a abnormal gap. It is about 2 to 3 times larger then normal. Most likely he has suffered a bleeding in his brain. This of course healed over time. And left behind a whole with no brain matter. You could even see the scarring tissue on the edge of the remaining brains. The doctor indicated this bleeding taking place around the time of birth. So either the accident or the birth itself caused the brain to bleed.
The MRI will be looked at by another expert who can tell whether it is birth-trauma, accident-trauma or a bleeding disorder. In case of the last they will have to draw his blood for further diagnosis.
He also has some scar tissue on the location for Sight. So he has to do yet another test which will identify any damage to his sight. It is likely his eyes can not see, or see less, with the right side of each eye. But it is also likely his young brain already compensated this loss of sight and he has no problems with seeing.
So there you go: my son has Cerebral Palsy. (And is hyper mobile, but that is another matter. He can bent his joints too far the wrong way…) Luckily the brain matter that is missing only concentrated itself on the coordination of his movements. Luckily it seems a large part of the missing brain cells tasks have been reorganized and his brain has compensated for the loss of these cells. Luckily the centers for language, reading, mathematics, behavior are not touched by the old bleeding. And the total amount of brain cells is not equal to your IQ. Our son is very bright and intelligent. Luckily he is learning to deal with it, since birth.
But still… Seeing the pictures taken by the MRI shocked me. It seems such a big gap in his brain. Yes. Motherhood. I let my tears go when I think about the difficulties he might get in his life. I cheer for every goal he achives.
|Posted 07-03-2008 at 10:04 AM by ostarella|
|Posted 07-11-2008 at 02:37 PM by deebeelicious|