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no title- I'm bad at titles!

Posted 07-18-2015 at 03:18 AM by sarah c.
people get into trouble for saying or writing anything like this, I think because society feels that unless you have somehow earned your pain honorably and acceptably, that it's not real, or worse yet, that it's shameful and a mark on your character as well as your intelligence to express it. I will never travel very far, I will never live in a house, I will never be able to contribute to society until well after my death. An inheritance, As I knew it wouldn't- doesn't change the family you have, or change some people's opinions on: "you're just not trying", based solely on the fact that: "you're pretty, you can't be sick." But if you say anything, other than how much you love life, you are told that you're asking for attention. Or told "I've been where you are...".
And NO this isn't self pity. I've had almost as many truly remarkable and wonderful things happen in my life as I have, things that crushed my world. My mother and her family taught me what was beautiful about the world, that most people didn't see. And whether you think it pathetic or a black mark on my character,...I sometimes wish the person that said.."I've been where you are" could take my place for a day. I have nightmares and when I wake up...it's not much different.
So you see- WHO would EVER imagine that there's a VERY strong, & intelligent person behind all of that? Or NOT think that I'm just looking for pity? - not many.
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