Some of Dirk's funny quotes from Celeb BB

[Ruth]

I love Dirk's sense of humour. Here are some of his funny quotes from his time in the Big Brother house...

Donny : Dirk F***ing Benedict
Dirk: Yeah...well I don`t usually use my middle name

Dirk (to Leo): I'll give you half my fan base, thats 20 people

Ian (about Cleo): Maybe she needs an audience to be funny
Dirk: Maybe she`s not funny
Dirk:Cleo doesn`t have a funny bone in her body

Dirk (to Leo who is talking endlessly about the plot of a book he had read):
Keep going and I won`t have to buy the book

Jp: What's your favourite colour?
Dirk: Well it ain`t blonde

(Announcement) Nominations in 5 minutes
Dirk: Goody goody goody

Leo: Humanity is all we have left
Dirk: And oranges

Dirk to (Shilpa): Don't make the food too hot, it might give me a personality

The group are saying how Jack is very quiet.
Dirk: Wouldn't you be? I'm surprised he didn't do a runner

Dirk (about Jackiey's constant flatulence): Once is okay, but not when it becomes a lifestyle

[KamikazeCowgirl]

I love Dirk's sense of humour. Here are some of his funny quotes from his time in the Big Brother house...

Donny : Dirk F***ing Benedict
Dirk: Yeah...well I don`t usually use my middle name



I did love it when he slipped that one in !!

[bibbi]

Hi Ruth!
THANKS for the quotes!
They were really funny! :lol:
Information for you. Dirk DOES like blonde! :wink:
(I know he just meant it as a joke to Jo..)

take care,
Anne :)

[tiome25]

Thanks for the quotes, Ruth, I´ve laughed a lot with this one:

Ian (about Cleo): Maybe she needs an audience to be funny
Dirk: Maybe she`s not funny

[Billy]

When Big Brother set them the task of asking Big Brother a question they wanted to know the answer to;

Jo: I could ask them what colour underwear I put on is this morning
Dirk: I can tell you that one :wink:

[tiome25]

Dirk admitted to flirting with Shilpa, and when asked by Big Brother if he wanted anything, he replied:

"Shilpa's number?"

[bibbi]

Hi!
As for Dirk asking for Shilpa's number...:lol: :lol:
"OH, MY.. THAT IS SO FUNNY!". :lol: :lol: ::lol: :lol:
I laughed so hard, I fell off my chair! ::lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Dirk has a wonderful sense of humour! :D
!" DIRK I HOPE TO MEET YOU SOON"! :D

take care,
Anne :)

[Ruth]

Yeah that was so funny! Also when Big Brother asked him if there was anyone in the house he was close to, and he said, "Shilpa...not as close as I'd like to be." The way he says things makes me laugh.

[groovy_ghoulie]

Shilpa: something in this bed is biting me

a milisecond later Dirk:OH that lucky something

[Genny]

Shilpa said: " I think you should get married at 60. I think that's what I'll, do".
Dirk: " If we're going to do this thing honey we'd better do it now.. I haven't got that much time..". ( ie 'to wait until she's,60 !). Did anyone see Dirk and Leo in the garden squaring up for a Japanese warrior -voiced weeing ,contest? I laughed so much I fell off the settee! Dirk is so funny...I wish he was on TV MORE !!

[nina81]

Thanks for putting the quotes up I love reading them and they are soo funny.
A lot of things Dirk said in the house made me laugh.

Nina
:lol:

[Syl]

I loved Dirk's reason for nominating Ian, who was lovely, but a bit like an over-excited puppy.

Dirk: when the ship is skinking and someone's having a great time and happy about it, you throw them overboard.

[bibbi]

Hello everyone!
Dirk DEFINITELY has a WONDERFUl. WICKED & VERY WITTY! sense of humour! :lol:
I can't wait to meet him in person! :D

DIRK YOU'RE THE BEST! :D :D :D

take care,
Anne :)

[Lily]

Hi its my first post and i thought I'd enter another two pretty fast quips, that Dirk himself said during BB (i know over aweeks gone but we'restil talking about it)
He said" I'm so old that BB means Bridget Bardot to me"

Then as they were doing the tasks which required the imitation of other Housemates
the master joked "Thank god all my parts are small!" :lol:

I used to write down the live update stream, and got pretty giggly seeing Ian (another housemate and who came 4th) and Dirk walking on their hands! This never got shown on C4 sadly.

Hope to see Dirk back on the uk television pretty soon ( If he does I'd reccomend a Sou wester (or waterproof anorak!) and waders to combat the drooling from various members of the opposite sex.) :P

Oh and hi to all the members :lol:

[ostarella]

I have a file edited from the live update forum "The Maestro" with the quips from there, plus a couple others I found on another forum. If anyone would like it, send me a PM and I'll send it along. :-)

[deebeelicious]

Hey guys,
My first post here. Hi you All.
I'm another new gal from UK come to try to ease my DB-addiction!

I haven't seen this quote anywhere (sorry if its already here). Anyhow, it's my favourite so far and still makes me smile!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTF06msNsOc&NR

Oh dear! I know he's 'joking' but really as Ian said 'too much information!'

I've found 'youtube' really good for funny DB clips from CBB5. Enjoy!

xx
Deebeelicious

[Sharma]

Hey guys,
My first post here. Hi you All.
I'm another new gal from UK come to try to ease my DB-addiction!


Hi there, it seems there's a female bias in members here !

I'm more interested on DB's views on life/diet/responsibility and so on...and of course I liked his portrayal of Starbuck when I was a 12 year old.

Your from my neck of the woods too, the next door home county !

[bibbi]

Hi!
I do agree there is a female bias.
I agree with you Sharma.
Can you please send that photo again.
I'll try to post it.

regards,
Anne :)

[Lynne]

Sorry Sharma - what can we newbies say - the man's lovely!

[ostarella]

I'm more interested on DB's views on life/diet/responsibility and so on

That was one of my biggest gripes about CBB - even with the live update stuff so much of what he talked about was glossed over ("Dirk and so-and-so talking about food/movies/kids") instead of getting details, and of course not being able to watch it live...<sigh>

[Sharma]

Sorry Sharma - what can we newbies say - the man's lovely!

Well I'm glad you haven't bought into the media hype about Dirk's so-called misogynist streak. :)

[Lynne]

Absolutely not - the trouble is some people just look for the easy interpretation - I would suggest that he is a man of taste who appreciates an attractive woman but is also someone (even with his obvious good looks) who does not take himself too seriously - his dry sense of humour was just lost or deliberately misinterpreted by some people.

Here endeth the lesson!

Lynnex

[Sharma]

Absolutely not - the trouble is some people just look for the easy interpretation - I would suggest that he is a man of taste who appreciates an attractive woman but is also someone (even with his obvious good looks) who does not take himself too seriously - his dry sense of humour was just lost or deliberately misinterpreted by some people.

Here endeth the lesson!

Lynnex

Too true; I'd say 80% of his wit was over the head of the HM's and the remainder was intentionally taken the wrong way.

[bibbi]

Hi!
I heartily agree!

take care,
Anne :)